Dayana Rogayah

Is an important day for me because..

1. It is my mom’s 60^th birthday! (or according to Shasa, it’s her 6^th birthday! Haha)
2. It is my dad’s angiogram day!

The first one is important because..well, just look at the number! It’s SIXTY! And yet she is as strong as ever and sometimes I think she is even stronger than me! My mom is a wonder woman! *No doubt for that!* But unfortunately, we will have to celebrate her birthday in the Institute of Jantung Negara (IJN). As important as her 60^th birthday is, the second one is even more important. Today my dad will take his ANGIOGRAM.

It is an X-ray test to see which of his blood vessels are blocked and how narrow they are! So, after today we will know the exact condition of his heart! He has already being diagnosed with unstable angina (chest pain, a prelude to heart attack) during fasting month and the doctor has already suspected that he has a heart problem but just don’t know which and where and how. So after today we will know everything and what to do next. I just hope that he goes through this test successfully, i.e. without any side effect. The dangerous part of this test is that, there is a 1% chance that it will worsen his kidney, which is already not functioning properly. Also, there is less than 1% chance that a stroke could happen during the test and paralyze thereafter. I’ve read a few cases where instead of saving your heart, the angiogram makes it worse or leads to other problem. So I really hope that nothing bad will happen during and after the test. My dad’s body has enough damage already. Not only he has severe diabetes, but also kidney and heart problem. He cannot ask for more.

Sigh. Why do they make that thing in the first place if there’s a probability that it could lead to something else?!

Oh well, I guess we cannot have the best of both worlds. You want something; you’ve got to be ready to lose some other thing.

So to those of you out there who are in good condition, be grateful. Yeah, let’s be grateful! (I second you darling! Read her latest entry! Hehe).

Be grateful with what you have. Appreciate life. Appreciate YOURSELF! Always stay happy and healthy! And for what is worth, avoid yourself from having diabetes. It’s the root of ALL evil. I’m not a doctor, but trust me.

Hehe.

till next time,

Dee-Rog.

p/s: to doctors out there or to my friends whose relatives/family members have taken this test, please reassure me that it’s not as dangerous as I thought it would be?

Guess what?

I was looking at my blog stats and I saw this!

TAKING RISK=DAYANA ?!?!

Whatttt? Hahahaha! Who on earth would wanna use that term to describe me?!

Am I a risk taker?

Haha. Come to think of it, I think I am. Almost practically everyday in almost everything I do. From choosing what time to wake up to making important decisions concerning my future. I think the biggest risk I’ve taken so far is in 2007, the year I graduated with an Actuarial Science degree. The year I decided to stay on in London to get my masters degree in Risk & Stochastics instead of returning home for good and start serving PNB. Back then, I looked at it as a risk, but now I would say it’s the turning point of my life. or should I say that decision has led me to the turning point of my life.  

Heheh. Interesting topic. I would love to continue, but I have a very important report to submit. So I’ll do it some other time. I don’t wanna risk losing the time and effort I’ve poured so much into this Value-at-Risk study.

Haha. As if I haven’t taken enough risk in my life.

But I guess that’s why I’m in the investment world. It’s all about taking risk. Actually, life is ALL about risk-your life, my life..everyone’s life. Whatever decision you make IS a risk. You think you know what will happen tomorrow?

Wallahulam.

till next time,

Dee-Rog.

Monday, 19 October 2009- 8.00 a.m.

Monday, 19 October 2009- 10.30 a.m.

Friday, 23 October 2009 – 3.30 p.m.

Hahahah!

So yeah, the result of my goal of the week is : C+

Haha! I think I deserve that credit despite how it turned out by the end of the week. I’ve been very good throughout the week you know. I cleaned my table everyday before I left for home. It’s just that I got too stressed out on Thursday (so many things to do, so little time!) and then I just couldn’t be bothered already.  Ahhhhhh maalaassslahhhh.

Hmmm…Let’s see if I can achieve next week’s goal! I hope I do! Coz I don’t want to be nagged anymore (by my mom & Natte! haha) and face the whatever possible consequences!

So yeah, next week’s goal:

“Be in PNB by 7.45 a.m. EVERYDAY!”

(can’t say 8 a.m, doesn’t work for me, I’ll end up being there by 8.15. seriously, among all the management trainees, I think I have the worst attendance record! haha. Talk about Dayana being so skema!)

So yeah, we’ll see! Heee.

till next time,

Dee-Rog.

Waaaaaaa. I just feel like cryinggggg. This thing that I’m doing is kinda DIFFFFICULT!

I’m currently attached to Performance & Portfolio Assessment Department (PAPS). I was asked to do an analysis on the risk of our portfolios. My boss suggested me to use Value-at-Risk (VaR) methodology where all the figures can be obtained from the superhero Bloomberg. Getting the figures is easy. Can be done in just a few steps:

Step 1: Upload your portfolio

Step 2: Click the VaR analysis function

Step 3: Wait for 10 seconds and let the superhero do all the calculations

Step 4: Export the data to Excel

See, easy right?

But the most important and difficult part is ANALYSING the data! Coz later on, I’ve to write up a proposal convincing the fund managers to use VaR as their risk measurement tool and to use Bloomberg as the calculator. And numbers are just numbers. If Bloomberg shows the VaR of your portfolio is RM100mil, you can’t just take it bluntly and tell them “Look, Bloomberg is (thus I am too) 95% convinced that your portfolio could lose up to RM100mil over the next month. You should do something about it”. It’s more than that. You have to understand or at least know HOW Bloomberg does the calculation, choose the best method (it has three!) and give your justifications. So lots of research has to be done there. And just when I thought I’m almost there (the point where I could start writing), I don’t think I’m there yet. It’s like I’m back to square one. And I’m only left with 3 more days before the management trainee’s program starts back again. *sigh*

But deep down, I’m confident that I can do it. Hopefully. Insya Allah. So it’s okay.

But still, susahnyerrrrr eeeeeee. I need Akmal. I miss him.

Can’t wait for Christmas!! Not anticipating the celebration obviously. But Santa Clause (AKMAL!) is COMING…TO TOWN (sing it!). Weee heeee.

Okla, enough whining. Gotta continue working. Oh wait..it’s lunch time already! Yeay! Sambung nanti je haha (I packed lunch again today. But no more sausages and fishballs. I brought my mom’s chicken curry & sayur labu goreng. Nyums! I love my mummy!)

Okay then.

till next time,

Dee-Rog.

I think my level of confidence is going DOWN!

Here’s how it looks, graphically. (physically-might be worse! haha)

Dammit! *bangs table with fist*

Gotta do something about it. Immeediateelllyyyy!

What should I do?

I can’t possibly run to London (Akmal) and join UMNO Club (Akmal’s Club, hee he helped me a lottt in boosting my self-confidence!) again, can I?

What did I do before? How did I manage to do it?

1. I became MC twice (I just kept telling myself that I’ve GOT to do it no matter what)
2. I practiced with Akmal and he corrected me instantaneously (tiring and annoying sometimes, but it helps!!)
3. I organised events and met lots of professional people (I did research, I met them personally, I emailed them before and after)
4. I received good feedbacks from my best friends (they are my constant motivators)
5. I talked to people in LGIM, from the Head of Fixed Income to the fund managers to the credit analysts (they’re just too friendly and helpful! they even said “We are very proud of what you’ve done for us!”)
6. I emailed Dzariman, The Sifu from time to time and he would write lenghty essays telling me what to do and he would give compliments when necessary (an example of great leader!)

and that’s all I can think of now.

So what should I do?

Huhu.

Takpelaa…I guess for now I’ll just pack my stuffs and go to Pavilion jalan-jalan with Natte. Darling, you nak ikut?

Heheh.

till next time,

Dee-Rog.

Oo’oo the laziness to blog is creeping in. Shites. Better write some nonsense.

I’m currently at work. And I have a LOT of work to do. But I’m just too sleepy. So I decided to just relax and laze around..for a few minutes. (we shall see )

Hmmm..It’s been such an eventful day for me actually. I went through quite a h*ll this morning until Abby had to say “OMG you are the most insane woman in this building at the moment”. Hahaha. I would loooveee to talk about it now but I can only do it after Sunday. So, be patient.

What else to talk about?

Hmmmmm… *rolling eyes*

OMG I think I’m just too lazy to do anything at the moment. I think it’s because I’ve been working like mad for the past few days. I need rest. Or maybe it’s because of the oh-so-many-dim sums I had for lunch. I need sleep.

Oh ya, this is my new camera btw.

Mine is the one in gold.

It has so many interesting functions but the one that I’m most jakun about is called Sweep Panorama. You get to take pictures like this:

It sweeps everyyything; from one end to another end. (haha what kind of explanation is that, Dayana?)

But anyway, cool ey?

I don’t know how I landed into this topic. I think the word sleep reminds me of sweep.

I’m just too sleepy. Or maybe lazy.  

Oklah, I better stop now before I make myself look stupid.

till next time,

Dee-Rog.

Date: 10 October 2009

Event: Jid & Foy’s first open house

At the balcony,

Mummy: Eh tgkla Na, die punye sign dkt fridge sume same dgn ice-cream cup ni.

Me: Oh aah la mummy!

Mummy: How did she do it eh? I think she printed all these lah.

Me: Eh takkan die print jugak suma ni? Kalau die print die kene la paste it on d cup? Ish gila rajin jid! I don’t think so. I think die die beli ice-cream cup ni siap2 kot and then she copied the signature.

Back in the house,

Me: Eh Jid, camne u buat cups nih? U print sume ke Jid?

Jid: *dgn segan silunya* Aahlaaaa.

Mummy: Ha see I told you.

Natte & me: *eyes widely opened, impressed*. Omg seriously?? u tampal sume ni ke Jiddd?

Jid: Aah laaaa. *Slowly unsealed one just to show it to us*.

Natte&me: Omg Jiddd! Semgtnyaaa! Patut la penat smpi tertido layan tetamu. Hahahaha.

Lots of effort there Jid and it must be really tiring for you but I’m sure you felt happy and relieved seeing all your guests’ happy faces – your SSP friends who loved seating at your balcony; enjoying your ice-cream, Lopes who stayed on like forever eventhough he was disinvited 3 times by you, and me who came with an empty stomach but left your house feeling heavy and sleepy (thank god I wore skirt on that day haha). Her Mee Bandung sgt seedaappp! Nanti next time I kempunan Mee Bandung I just go to you k Jid?

Heeee!

till next time,

Dee-Rog.

Heheh. I must say, it’s not so bad after all! Heeee.

I have always wanted to tryyy at least once not only because it saves a lot of money but I also get to read while listening to my ipod (or I get to sleep hee hee). But because I’ve been so used to driving eventhough I keep complaining about the heavy traffics and when I think about the bad things I might encounter if I were to take the public transport….I’d normally think twice come the days when I feel like trying.

“ahhh malaslahh, naik keta jelah”

“alaa what if kene diri lame2, tanak laa, naik keta lah”

“alaa bahaya lah naik komuter”

“alaa what if i kene tunggu lame n byk sgt orang?”

But like I said before, experience people, expeerieence! You must always experience it first, then only you’ll know. Don’t think negatively until you yourself confirm that it’s reallly bad! Explore and be adventurous. But sediakan payung lah ye sebelom hujan. Hehe. Always prepare for the worst and hope for the best. At the end of the day, you might be thinking like “ahhh, it’s not so bad after all” heheh and trust me, you’ll feel good about it and espeically yourself.

So yeah, today I voluntereed myself to take the public transport. My dad had to go to IJN this morning for his first time check-up there so I told my mom,

Me: Lets just all go with the same car and just drop me off at PNB since IJN is just 10 mins away, saves money & petrol.

Mummy: Ehh then how are you going back?

Me: Oh nvm, Daddy might have to spend one whole day there anyway.

Mummy: Yeah but what if he finishes early?

Hahaha. True enough!

at 1130 in the morning, my dad called.

Daddy: Na..Daddy dah abis. So kitorg nak jalan-jalan kejap pastu nak balik. You nak balik mcm mana?

Me: Haa?? Cepatnyerr?? Oh okay lah then, takpe lahh, I naik komuter la kottt. *telling my dad with the most dreadful feeling ever and full of regrets* hahaha!

So anyway, here’s how it goes:

620pm: Left office, walked to Ampang Park LRT station for about 5-10 mins, took the LRT and stopped at KL Central

7pm: Reached KL Central, bought the commuter ticket, saw the information board ‘Train ke Pelabuhan Klang – 7.03pm’, “oh shit, 3 more minutes”, so ran down the elevator only to hear..

7.03pm: “Train ke Pelabuhan Klang akan tiba pada pukul Tujuh Sepuluh Minit, Harap Maaf dan Terima Kasih kerana menunggu”

“WTH?! Aishhhh…sabaaa je laaa! Buat penat je lari!”

Then at 7.08pm, came an announcement, “Train to Pelabuhan Klang will be arriving soon. Please stand behind the green line. Thank you”

Then I looked down looking for the green line and you know what I saw?!

Yes. This! And people were all standing on the black spots!

So I looked down and up again, thinking “What green line?! What’s with the orange arrow?! Where the h*ll should i stand?! I don’t want to be pushed away and scolded unnecessarily for not following the rules!!!”. *sigh*. Then I gave up because I couldn’t stand the look at all those people gave me, some were quite dodgy and some looked at me as if I come from the outer-space! Ish *typical Malaysians*. So I stood just where I was-not on any single-coloured line, quietly and patiently waiting for the train to arrive, reading a book while listening to my ipod*just like a Londoner*. Ecehhhh hahah!

Then a few seconds later, came another announcement.

“Please hold your bags. Please be aware of pickpockets. The crowd is Larrrrgeee”

Hahaha! The announcement frightened me a bit as I immediately held my bag tightly and looked around for any potential pickpockets but I at the same time giggled coz I think it’s funny the way they said it. Hee hee.

So at 711pm, the train came. *phew* Not so long of waiting kan? And I managed to get on the train safe and sound, without any pushing-pushing. But of coz, I had to stand up. So I continued reading my book and after 20 minutes of standing and whining “urghhh sakitnya kakii bila org lain nak turun nii?”, I managed to get a seat for myself! Heee. So I continued reading as the story was really motivating.

I was quite nervous actually as the train was approaching Shah Alam. Because I remember those were the days, there would be less and less people in the train after Shah Alam and the ones that have left were the ones that are not so civilized! So I texted my mom “My..I dah nak smpi Klang tau, nanti lg 10 minit make sure you or sape2 dtg amik tau! Im scarreed! I don’t wanna wait alone. Thanks myy”. Then I continued reading when suddenly I overheard a conversation between some Chinese and Indian teenagers. The word that captured my attention was… “LONDON”! hahaha!

Them: Oh you are going to London is it? Eh you know aa, not many people from Klang that go to London you know. Waa so good la you.

Me (telling to myself): Uhuh, yeah true true and I am (or should I say was) one of them please. Ehem, thank you for the compliment. *grinned widely inside* wahahaha I’m so proud of myself .And Klang too!

So a few minutes later I finally reached my station, which is called Teluk Gadong. I walked out the train and I saw those teenagers talking about London earlier. Hehe. They must be studying in Taylors or Sunway (or any other colleges that you can find in Subang lah). And not only them, there were quite a lot of civilized working people stopped at my station too! *pheww, what a relief!* I felt so much better and less nervous right away. At least now I know Teluk Gadong station is quite safe.

Heheh. See how those little things can make you smile and make your day less stressful and tiring?

I told you that taking the public transport is not so bad after all! Heeee. I actually don’t mind taking it again.

But don’t worry, I will always remember what my Akmal and Natte said,

Akmal: hmmm…but I prefer you drive kot. I still think it’s bahaya. Don’t want anything happen to you. But okla, you boleh la naik public transport, but balik awal la kot.

Natte: eyyy jgn balik lmbt sgt!! Awak tu perempuan!!!

Hahahah! Baiklahhh! I will make sure I leave the office by 630 pm ok?

till next time,

Dee-Rog.

When I was a full-time student, whether in primary school, secondary school, college or even university, I was known as the nerd who doesn’t know (just refuses to actually) how to keep her study place TIDY. Papers and books lying around here and there, soo not organized!

Mummy would always say,

“Orang lain pun belajar jugak na, tapi takde la teruk mcm you. Very unruly. Dah abis belajar tu kemas laa!”

“OMG what happened to my table?! Meja sampai dah tak nampak meja! Yang sorang buku tak penah kuar bag (referring to my big sister). Yang sorang lagi buku merata-rata!”

At home, I like to study at her dining table. Big and spacious! More room to make mess. Hehe. After tired of studying, I would just leave her table like that. Sometimes I chose her living room to study. And she would say,

“Ya Allah! Tak cukup-cukup lagi dgn meja tu. Kat sini pun nak buat sepah jugak?”

Hehe.

Friends who always drop by my room in KYUEM would say,

“Ya Allah! Dayana Rogayah!”

“OMG Dayanaaa! Ape dah jd dgn bilik u nii?? Eee camne u tidoo??”

In KYUEM, I like to study in my room. So the tiny room would turn into a jungle of papers and books before and during exam period. Too messy that there wasn’t enough room to move about. Not even sleep! After tired of studying, I wouldn’t bother to keep back all my books and papers. I would only leave some space, enough to fit my sejadah! And if I want to sleep, I would just shove off the books away and curl up at the top corner of the bed, horizontally, like a baby in the womb! Haha!

And I brought this bad habit all the way to London. But the best part of making mess in London is that, there’s no one to nag you!  

Throughout these years, I felt comfortable with this habit. Because I don’t disturb people and I don’t take up their space. And most importantly, I could hide the mess from them. It’s just as easy as Do Not Enter My Room Unless I Say So. But now that I’ve started working, huaaaaaa I can’t continue doing it, can I? It’ll be soo embarrassing! Pecah abis tembelang. I quote my mom, “Muke je nmpk comel, tapi tak reti nak kemas!” Haha!

But I still do it anyway. Haha. Loook!

Tsk tsk. Teruk kan? But maalas la nak kemas! I’m gonna use the materials over and over again anyway. Should I just ask Kak Sumi-the coffee maker to clean it for mee? *wishful thinking* I like her. She’s so nice to me. She makes good coffee and she calls me Artist! Hahaha!

Oh well, I should probably change. I hope Mummy doesn’t see this. She would be so furious I tell you. (Mardhiah, take note ya?)

At times I feel I am immune to horrendous traffic congestion by now. But at times I just feel “Ohmygod! This is ridiculous! I can’t take it anymore. I want to move to KL!!!!!” Yesterday was the worst! I was extreeemely tired I just felt like crying by the time I reached home. That was about 940p.m. (3 hours late than usual). I didn’t shed a single tear of course. But instead, I pulled a HUGE sour face to my mom and my sister who were watching tv and laughing all the way! I didn’t even say hi to them. Haha. Konon nak attract their attention la kan! But sigh, it didn’t work out. So I went upstairs, took my shower and went down straight to the kitchen to have my dinner. ALONE! But while putting all the lauk-pauk on my plate, I wondered “What’s so funny on tv? What are they watching??” They just couldn’t stop laughing! So I thought “Oklah, let’s just go in front, sit in the middle of the living room and eat in front of them” I felt so much better. I think it’s because of my mom’s sambal udang. Hehe. It was too good that I ate so quickly like a hungry beast beauty. I didn’t even look up and watch the tv. Haha.

I could have reached home earlier but I was caught up with work I didn’t realize it was 6.30p.m already. And I could have stopped at 5p.m. but I like my new task now that I can’t wait to see the end result! Hehe. And I couldn’t drive home straight because I had to make a special delivery to my little sister in UM, something to make sure she remains pretty and healthy for her MOET exam today. (I’m such a sweet sister, I know) And guess what? It took me about 1 ½ hours just to get there! Ya Allah! Mana tak I emo! Once I got there, I texted her right away “U in your room? U better be. I’m on my way up now. I’m hungry. And I’m angry.” As I was walking towards her room, just a few more steps left, I heard someone running from the back. I looked back and I saw her, out of breath! Hahaha. Poor little girl. Tau takutt!

Anyway, do you know that I actually drive approximately 100km per day? It’s not so much on the distance. But it’s the hours and the heavy traffic that sometimes can make me go insane! Going to work is not so bad. I just need to leave early, as early as 630a.m. But going back is crazy!! It takes me about 2 hours on average to reach home. And I have been doing it for about 2 months now. I complained a lot the first few weeks. But by the end of the first month, I told myself “I cannot let this take a toll on me. I need to remain positive or I would be very stressful everyday” So I started to think the good things I’ve gained out of this unavoidable madness so far.

Do you know that within a month, I have managed to discover different possible routes? By now, I could easily decide which highway I should take and should not to go here or there depending on what time I leave Klang and on what time I leave KL. All this with the help of traffic updates on radio and my adventurous mode. Seriously the first month was all about exploring. And I didn’t even wait for the weekends to explore. What’s the use of driving on weekends when everyone else is not? Traffics on weekends and weekdays are not the same! So yeah, I would simply change my route just to test the traffic even in the morning! Sometimes I regretted for doing so because I ended up being late. Haha. But then I thought, what’s the risk of me being late for the first few weeks? Bila lagi nak cuba kan? Belom cuba belom tahu. Mana tahu jalan ni sampai lg cepat ke? Kan? It’s all about experience, something that can never be traded with anyone or anything else. You have to experience it yourself, and then only you’ll know what’s best and also whether the risk is worth taking. I could list down all the routes now but I’ll save it for later ok?

Apart from that, Akmal helped me stay positive as well. There was this one unfortunate day when he’s still in Malaysia and he was driving in the midst of traffic jam, with me as the co-driver (bestnyer skali skala tak payah drive!! the best feeling ever! Hahaha.) when he realized something. The signboard was showing ‘Pelabuhan Klang – 38km’ and we were only at Midvalley area (I think, can’t remember exactly where). Then he said,

“What?! 38km?? ini belom campur daripada KL lg! gilaa aa you tau tak you drive almost 100km a day? Dengan jam suma. Kalau I, I masukkan dlm cv. Boleh guna utk jwb competency-based questions.  Interviewer tu will surely be impressed. Dahla you perempuan! Kalau I interviewer, I terus amik you kerja. Hahaha. Pastu I ckp kat dia, You think you can do that? “

Hahaha. Akmal and his brilliant and crazy ideas. Never fails to amuse me and makes me feel better.

So yeah, tell me, you think you can do that?

Heee. I’m so proud of myself now.

But of course sometimes I can’t help myself but to whine and complain especially when I’m mentally and physically exhausted. I think I’m allowed to do that. I’m just a human being after all. Hehe. Hence yesterday’s drama.

till next time,

Dee-Rog.